Marital Bliss

As I've mentioned, I've had a lot of weddings this summer. Today marks number five.

Scott has been a tried and true friend for the last 8 years. Look how little we were.
Congrats to Scott and Rachel!

Love is awesome....

Because it's finally public I want to officially e-congratulate my best friend since 3rd grade, Ms. Susan Forshner and her amazing fiance Mike on their engagement.

I remember the phone call I got from Susie as she described their first date after seeing the Blair Witch Project way back in highschool. The funny thing is, Susie is so scared of horror/suspense movies that she literally flips around in her chair. I think that going to a scary movie with Susie would probably be the least romantic thing I can think of, no brushing of the thigh accidentally. If she did touch Mike, it would probably be a death grip.

Now to start the journey of losing weight so I can squeeze myself into a bridesmaid dress...

FNFO Retreat

I got home and I couldn't explain why I had laughed so hard.
I couldn't find the right words to describe how funny it was when Robert fell out of his chair, or when the ping pong ball landed in my cleavage. It doesn't come out right when I tell the story of pantsless Camillo at 1:00 in the morning.


Everyone swears they have the funniest most bestest friends ever times a million. I mean read blogs about it every day. I listen to people's stories, I look at their silly pictures online.

I just can't possibly imagine anyone being funnier than my friends.

It's impossible.

At the same time, I can't explain why they are so funny. I can tell you about Dana jumping in the water ass naked at 2:00 in the afternoon, but I might get a chuckle at most. I could try and explain why a drunk Marcello declaring Mia (of all people) his enemy makes me pee in pants, and you would probably fake laugh and shrug. I mean, Camillo said the word "Big Dicker." It's hilarious.

What I can do is make you understand that I care for those people greatly. I could call up any one of them for pretty much anything and get a hand. FNFO is without a doubt my family.

I have so many gray hairs.

But at least my boobs are still perky.

:::Confessions of a mid twenty-something:::

One of the moments...

Reading on the internet, posing like a GQ model, clueless that I'm taking this phone photo.

It was one of those moments that I was reminded how much I love him.

It was the morning after the wedding - we were both really rested because the place cleared out at around 9:00 the previous night. We got a few dances in with the great big band, and for the most part we had ignored any political liberal confrontation. You see, these people were from no where Maine and very Christian. I got the impression that we were the fringe in this situation. Maybe we were reading into it too much, but the ceremony had deep seeded undertones about the sacrament of marriage. I can't wait till they see all the gays at our wedding*...

We were sitting, waiting for a chance to congratulate the bride and groom before we trekked back to Mass (mind you this is the 4th out of 5 weddings this summer-we're sick of driving). Ted was talking to his brother and I was spacing out, watching a group of cousins and I overheard "Oh God! How liberal can you be?" I took a deep breath in and held my tongue,

He leaned over and whispered in my ear "I don't even want to know." Here we were on the same page, nothing had to be said.


* No, we aren't engaged. And I plan on putting no pressure on Ted to get a ring on my finger. After this weekend, it seems his family is doing all the work for me.

I should mention....

Tomorrow kicks off the Boston Improv Festival.

The whole event makes me proud to be a part of such an amazing theater. The Boston Improv scene is totally unique to any other city. It's certainly smaller than most, with only two theaters strictly devoted to the art. Improv Boston is the most welcoming place I've ever been. It's like putting a cushy couch between to soft boobies - it's that comfortable. Improv Boston allows people to put up crazy hilarious shows like This Improvised Life, and the majority are hits that you won't find any place else.

So come check it out this week. Well over 50 acts. Beer. Wine. Me.

I'll be performing in the Midnight show on Friday U.S.A. vs. Mexico. Yes, real live Mexicans will be there. In all of their sexy glory.

Come on down. Make your own day.

Have you ever had a day where

Every question you are asked is the stupidest thing you've ever heard and you have a bubble of unexplainable rage lodged somewhere between your heart and lungs. The only thing you want to be doing is eating a cheeseburger and watching re-runs of Cheers, and the best thing that has happened to you all day is you found a band-aid for your hangnail while the worst thing that's happened to you is that you woke up. And every time the phone rings at work you want to yank it out of the wall and throw it in the ladies room toilets, pee on it and flush several times. Not to mention the coffee that you thought was the only thing that could possibly get you through the day has given you heart burn, and after you leave work you have another job to go to?

One of the regulars.

If you're reading this you're probably one of my friends. If you're one of my friends you probably have a bar that you're a regular at. If you're a certain kind of friend you're probably reading this post on your phone at that bar over a beer.

In my life I've had a few tried and true bars that have been a second home to me: The Spoke in Amherst, The Field in Cambridge, and the Corner Cafe* in the North End.

Now, for my friends that may not be a lushy as I am that are wondering "how do I know if I'm a regular?" Here is a check list:

• Do you know the entire staff, if not by name than by nick name you have made up?
• Do they know your name?
  
• Do you feel comfortable going into this bar by yourself?
• Have you had a drink "bought for you" by the bartender?
• Does the staff look out for your well being? If a guy/girl you don't like is hitting on you does the bar tender play wing man?
• Do they know your drinks?
  
• Have they let you stay past close?
• Do you frequent there more than once a week?
• Do you tip the staff more than 50% on occasion?
  
• Have you ever spent more than 6 hours there?
• Would you consider inviting the staff/other regulars to your wedding?
• Do you have a certain seat that when someone is sitting in it you get pissed?
• Have you gone to this bar in your pajamas?
• If your friends can't get in touch with you via cell do they go and check for you at this bar?
• Have you pooped in their bathroom? Come on... this is a big deal.
  

Now friends, if you have done 12 out of 15 of these you are a true regular (at least in my book).

Do you have a bar you would consider yourself a regular at?


*What did you think the corner has a website? Silly.

The night we ate mushrooms.

Before we blew a circuit and lost power in the house (making M. late for work because we were too scared to go into the basement to flip the switch), and after communicating in closets sending notes back and fourth she sat on the floor make art out of a sharpie, red nail polish, and manilla envelopes. I leaned my ear up against the wall.

"This house has a heartbeat."

I feel like a found a lost sock. A really expensive missed sock.