Bout to get political up in herrrrr

Sometimes I wonder if I should have a tumblr instead.

20 Billion is chump change.

First go here:

Check our Joe Barton's biggest contributors. Go on, be proactive:

http://www.opensecrets.org/politicians/summary.php?cid=N00005656&cycle=2010

Now check out a comment from the administration that I'm really proud of. A really sincere reaction.

http://theduty.tumblr.com/post/713083351/angleofattack-vice-president-joe-biden-the

Reposted from a non political tumblr that you should really check out. Some funny stuff!

That comment from Barton didn't come from just Barton directly, it came from a GOP press release.

Note there is plenty of blame to go around, and maybe now is not the time for that. But comments like his cause a visceral reaction. I loved Mr. Presidents comments a few months back about the financial crisis:

"But I don't want the folks who created the mess -- I don't want the folks who created the mess do a lot of talking. I want them just to get out of the way so we can clean up the mess. I don't mind cleaning up after them, but don't do a lot of talking."
*
""I don't mind cleaning up the mess that some other folks made, that's what I signed up to do," Obama said. "But while I'm there mopping the floor I don't want someone saying 'You're not mopping fast enough or you're not holding the mop the right way.' Grab a mop! Why don't you help clean up?"

Done being political now.

**Cricket**

Come see me do some comedy soon!

I was just cast on the Mainstage cast at Improv Boston. I'm very proud.

Date Night

Ted and I are embarking on a long awaited Date Night this Saturday. I'm thinking dinner and a movie. Any suggestions? Cambridge/Somerville area preferred.

See Orion and Say Nothing.

There was this widow's walk above the entrance to the house I grew up in. You could only get out there by crawling out a window. My mom had this pull out couch that we got rid of, but we kept the mattress for when I had sleep overs. Sometimes we would drag the mattress through the window because it was pretty thin and could bend.

My girlfriends and I would sit out there and fall asleep and wake up in the morning with the sun, you couldn't sleep much past that because it was so bright.

When I got older, there was this gang (I'll get more into them some day) of boys and girls that would sleep over my house. One night Timmy and I sat out on that porch. He told me the story of Orion. He made it up, I think he was tripping, and I believed every word he said. Timmy loved me for a long time before I realized it. I loved him much later when he didn't any more.

Tonight is the kind of night that I wish I could go back and sit on that porch.

I'd rather be

Genevieve.

I know that I have to go home and shave my legs. I would rather drive south towards North Carolina, windows open and radio blasting - maybe I'd figure out who Ke$ha (?) is. I would stop for coffee and Tums and make a night out of it. I'd be there by tomorrow morning, and I would crash on Genevieve's bed while she was on set. When her call was over we would walk across the beach and go swimming and smoke cigarettes - even though I don't smoke I would welcome the familiar and consistent habit. Maybe we'd have a six pack of cold canned beer and kill those while we talked about everything and nothing. Make that a 12 pack. We'd go swimming and she would pick me up and swirl me around and then we'd have handstand contests and float on our backs with our ears below water so the world would seem like it was silent. We'd wander back to the house and I'd make dinner, something light like roasted veggies on the grill. She would wipe the sweat off of my chin and call me "a sweaty baby" like we were 19 again. I'd go into her room and change, like, a thousand times trying to fit my boobs into her tiny shirts. She would make me feel good and sexy about myself and I would walk around like I was a secret pin up model. We'd laugh with all of her movie star friends but retire to a porch or take a walk early on. We'd find ourselves in town, and I'd be really sun burned because I forgot to put on sun block, but it would be okay because the bar we were at would cut the sting after our first tequila shot. The bartender would back our drinks up because he could tell we were women to be reckoned with. We'd sit over our beer chasers and talk about the boys we once loved and try and figure out what went wrong. We have all sorts of reasons for these things and justify them in all earnestly - we were free spirits that couldn't be tied down, or said boy just couldn't see our inner light. Then we'd admit that it was because we never grew a big enough pair to make it happen and laugh over it. We'd go to the juke box and slow dance to a song or maybe pretend to know how to play darts or pool. Not once would we take out our cell phones. We'd walk home and smoke a joint on the way. There would be crickets and peepers and we wouldn't talk. It was seem like day because the moon was so bright - but we would know different even if we were stoned because we fancy ourselves ladies of the moon. We'd crawl into bed and our feet would touch. Sleep would come so easy because we spent the day in the water and the sun and laughing with our best friend. I'd get up the next morning and drive home. Not once would I think "I need to shave my legs."

Dirty Water Boys

In 2002 when I left Mary Mount in New York to transfer to UMASS my life really started to define itself. I was cast in Arcadia as Thomasina with an extremely talented cast. I started hanging with a group of friends that have become synonymous with the word 'home,' and at the beginning of my second semester I was cast in Mission: IMPROVable, the UMASS campus's premiere improv group.

Here's something I must interject - most college improv is pretty shitty. There are some really good ones out there, for example Suffolk who are coached by instructors at Improv Asylum. Good college improv takes talent, hard work, and tons of commitment. At the time M:I had all three elements. We went to Mecca* for a week to take daily workshops with improv's great and kept drilling what we learned throughout the year. We we really good.

The best thing about the team at that time was the seniors. A group of about 7 that would be moving on the next year and they really wanted to foster us new kids to make sure the legacy lived on. They did a pretty damn good job of it considering that the people who came out of it were Scott Braidman, Steph Jones, Liz Caradonna, and Misch Whittaker among other greats that aren't as well known at Improv Boston but are equally as talented.**

One day walking into the campus center I noticed a group of the senior boys and my friend Nate sitting at one of the tables. I put my brave boots on and went to go sit with them. Let's be honest, a 20 year old girl around a bunch of 22 year old boys made me nervous and excited and I probably wanted to smooch every single one of them. One of them was talking about relationship problems (my money is on one guys named Misty) and the conversation flowed and Jon turned to me and said, "What about you, Shan? Any gentleman callers coming your way?" I mumbled something about being more like a little sister to boys and threw our the world gender neutral - pretty self-deprecating stuff.

They all chimed in right away to make me feel better. They called me pretty and one of them said something that I still remember word for word:

"Shan, you are so funny and charming that some day, probably soon, some guy is going to watch you up on that stage and totally fall for you."

I smiled to myself, we all went off to classes and I finished the year off with some of my best friends for life in tow.

Right now some of those boys are probably in New York, having been in a van for 10 hours. They are coming out to Boston to do a show at IB 8:00 Main Stage time on Saturday. They are staying at my house, we're going to drink some beers, order some Wings, and talk about the good old times.

Come check out Dirty Water this Saturday night at Improv Boston and see some of the guys who defined my life, and let me know that funny girls can be pretty too.

*Chicago
**Among those were Natalie Baseman who was a few years below me, and one of the most talented comedy writers I know Laura Clark.

Black Bird- The Beatles

We were on the 7th grade ski trip and I was sitting next to my best friend (before she found God) and we were using code names for the boys we liked, and the girls we didn't. I forget his code name now, but Noah was sitting behind us and every single beat of my 12 year old heart was for him. He was small, he wore glasses, and he had a bowl cut like all cool boys in 1995.

Noah and I started talking in low soft voices, asking each other questions through the crack in the seat partition. Some where on the chaperoned bus a group of kids were trying to play strip poker, not getting off much more than socks and hats. As Vanessa went to join the others, Noah asked me what my favorite song was. This was a tough one; he was cool with a good sense of music early on and the fate of our my potential first boyfriend rested on this answer. I took a moment and told him. He was impressed and approved, and though Noah and I never became boyfriend and girlfriend he did grab my hand once that weekend while he was dancing at a dance that no one else would dance at. I was so shy that I blushed and ran off, replaying the moment over and over in my head.

4 years later I had a long term boyfriend who was smart and kind and my first real love. I can still remember how he smells today. He's married in New York and probably doing really well for himself - at least I hope so and I mean that without a trace of bitterness unlike other boy who broke my heart down the line. Noah and Tom had become friends and we were hanging out a lot. Noah invited us over his house...I forget what we went there to do, probably just watch a movie. We sat in his living room, chatting and laughing when Noah stopped and said "Oh, Shannon I have something for you." He got up and went into the other room and emerged with his guitar. He sat down in front of the T.V., Tom and I his audience, and started tuning. In the next moment the first chords of Black Bird came on. He played through the song easily - it's a sweet easy tune and I've never met anyone who doesn't like it.

He finished and I said "That used to be my favorite song."

"I know," Noah replied "you told me in 7th grade and I went home to learn it. I guess I didn't get a chance to show you until now."

Tom didn't understand the gravity of that situation and I don't think I ever explained it to him.

I had a dream about Noah last night, I haven't thought about him in probably 10 years.

Wedding Season

When planning on a venue for your wedding, make sure the women’s room stalls are ample in size.

Getting spanks on and off is never easy in a single stall.

Nightmares

Ted taught me about Nanotechnology while tucking me in tonight (I write this from bed); now bedbugs have a whole new meaning to me. I'm afraid they are going to crawl into my skin and make me into a technologically advanced super human. Not in the good way.

In other news, I love this new show on cartoon network. Generator Rex, could it possibly be as good as Avatar: The Last Airbender was?

Off to sleep, I hope tiny machines don't control my dreams.*

*I guess I didn't totally get nanotechnology, huh?

A History of Nick Names

Since I was little, my family and friends have called me everything but Shannon. Here is a history of nick names:

Gertrude

Nana Babs started calling me "Gert" at a young age. There has never been any explanation as to why, and she still does to this day. I've come to understand it as a term of indearment.

Pooper

My mother called me Pooper. It horrified me even at 4. I insisted that she stop.

Shanny

I believe this started with my Auntie Mac and has been recycled by friends through my 27 years. Today it's mostly used by one of my besties Genevieve. This is one of my favorites.

Bubbles

One summer when I swimming on the cape, my mothers friends you could always find me in the water by my trail of bubbles. So they called me that for a while.

Daisy or Charlie

I went through a phase in Middle School where I tried to get my friends to refer to me by one of these names. I don't know why. Yes I do. I sought attention from an early age.

Mama Shan/Bundle/Boopsie

These all happened around the same time and I was called them consistently by the same group of friends. We used to have sleepovers (boy girl... oooh) at my house in high school, and I tended to be the care giver in these situations hence Mama Shan. Bundle happened one night we were walking around down town late and I had a blanket around me; I was referred to as a Bundle of Joy and it stuck. Boopsie is something my highschool best friend Dan and I called each other. I think he accidentally touched my boob and I said "watch out for the boopsies" because we were awkward teenagers and I didn't know what else to say. We still call each other boopsie.

Diesel

In college I was in a dynamic improv group Mission:Improvable. When cast as a member of this prestigious improv group your elders give you a nick name. Mine was down to Diesel and Kirby. Kirby because I reminded them of the cartoon, but Diesel because I could drink and curse like a truck driver. Diesel stuck. I got it tattooed on my butt. See photo on the left side of this page. that's my butt.

Camel/Skittles

These are recent and only a handful of people call me this. Camel because at rehearsal we were mocking through a game and I played an audience member. Marcelo asked me what my name was and I had one of those mind goes blank moments and said "Camel." The room got quiet, everyone looked at me, and I blushed and we all laughed. It really was a funny moment.

Skittles happened in North Carolina one night this year when Brian Perry and I had a night off from performing while everyone else did. So we walked around and drank lots of mixed beverages and saw improv. By 11:30 that night all of my inhibitions had left me and I found myself wearing a Cookie Monster hat and acting like I was a girl that knew how to freestyle. I am not. However, someone dubbed this crazy character Skittles. Trust me, you want Skittles at your next party.

ShanCon

Never has a nick name stuck like this one. My dear friend Mike started calling me ShanCon, mostly because I think his mouth was too lazy to say my full name. This spread hard and fast and the majority of the Improv Boston community refers to be as such. I love it.

Honorable mentions: Nooner (Genevieve calls me this sometimes), Connolli (When I'm in the North End), Shanooooooooan (Mike Carr would bellow this name).

Maybe

Maybe it's because it's 6:00 and a new year.

Maybe it's because I had three fun shows (one of which was really good stuff) in front of thousands of people tonight.

Maybe it's because I got to sit with one of the best best on an empty stair well and let her know she's better than most things, and deserves better than all things. Maybe it's because she gets faith real well, and inspires me to get it too.

Maybe it's the champagne and pbr.

Maybe it's smooching the man I love at midnight.

Maybe it's being guests at the most gracious and loving couple's house in perhaps all the world.

Maybe it's Competitive Active Charades.

Maybe it's my gaming bond with another flip cup champ.

Maybe it's the cold pizza I'm eating.

Maybe it's coming home to a package from my one and only who lives in L.A. with the line "I live for your answering machine."

Maybe it's that somewhere I have a recording of all of her old messages.

Maybe it's the warm bed with awesome sheets and a man to snuggle (that I'm about to crawl into).

Maybe it's Mile's bell.

Whatever it is, 2010 will be good. I can feel it.

Vows

Ted and I want to get married in Maine.*

We have this ideal setting on his parents island, a little point on Fort Foster. A big back yard with BBQ and dancing to follow.

This probably won't happen in Maine now. Simply because Ted and I have a shared view that we don't want to get married in a state that doesn't allow equal marriage rights to all.

Making this decision was easy, there was almost no discussion. The night of Maine's election this November I brought it up, and Ted was right there with me. Our silly wedding idea was gone right before our eyes, but it was nothing compared to the thought that our friends don't even have the choice to get married in Maine or not.

And now, today, our friends can't get married in New York either.

I wish I had gall to leave my job for a few days and protest in the states that don't support same sex marriage. I don't, but I can make my clam in this small way. We can not pay for our marriage license in ME, our friends won't spend their money on hotels, gas, and food costs, we won't support local business in their photography and catering services. It's nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it's also something.

My friend Steve, who lost his husband this past year wrote this:

http://www.americablog.com/2009/04/in-massachusetts-husbands-death-shows.html

Read it. It puts into words what I know, and so many are ignorant of. I have to believe that it's ignorance, and not stupidity because I want to have more faith in my country than that.

This is not a funny post, but it's simple. So I think I'm staying true.

*Ted and I are not engaged, nor do we plan to be any time soon. But we love each other a ton and this stuff comes up.

Look both ways.

I couldn't quite wake up this morning. I parked in the shade with my coffee, the sun was especially bright and I was in no mood for it's positive attitude. I was 20 minutes early for work and decided to listen to NPR in my car as opposed to getting in early today.

A squirrel appeared from the brush and scampered across the cross walk. A moment later he made the return trip across the white painted lines, an acorn in his mouth.

I watched him and tuned out the radio program, thinking to myself that this squirrel is an upstanding citizen. Even I have a hard time obeying cross walks.

Pink

I was lying in bed when I heard Ted call from the living room

"Baby..."

It was a worried tone.

I got up, felt around from my glasses and went out to see what was wrong.

He stood over a laundry basket full of our clothes.
All of our pink clothes.
Wait, we don't have that many pink clothes.

Somehow Ted missed the home ec class where you learn not to put the new red throw rug in with your whites.

In other news I got a new sexy pink bra...

Gore Fest VII

I have plenty of personal updates to post, and once again I'm past due.

However, this post is dedicated to Gorefest.

The first time I saw the show 4 years ago I knew I was hooked. It was hilarious and full of blood splattering good times. The best part is the tension they create. The audience knows that the "gore" is coming, but they don't always know when.

This year's show is full of tension, sexual innuendo, and some of my favorite GF songs to date.

Go see it.

Really.

Stars in my eyes...

Last night I met with Susie, Bryce, and Lisa for a wedding chat. As I mentioned, Sus is getting married next September and we make up some of her wedding party.

Really, it's a glorified excuse to go out and drink and chat about stuff boys really don't care about.

We decided to go to Trina's Starlight Lounge, a new bar/restaurant that just opened in Inman Square. The space used to be the infamous Abbey Lounge, a divey, amazing hole in the wall with more character than that an old whore that lived through three wars and prohibition. The last time I was there I was punched in the face and went home with a boy named Charlie who wore dirty old sneakers and a military jacket.
I'm sad that it's gone.

Overall, the Starlight is great. I love the whole look of the place. It's like you stepped into a 1950's shout out.

The cocktails were delicious, and pretty much the most expensive thing on the menu, $9.00 for a specialty drink. I'll be sticking with their $5 and under beer selection unless it's a super special occasion.

We ordered cheese fries as an app, but they came out with the meal. That would actually be my only real complaint about the place: the food took forever. I blame it on first week kinks.

Lisa and I had the pressed Apple & Brie sandwich. I loved it, especially the horseradish dipping sauce that accompanied the cheesey goodness.

Susie had the Mac and Cheese with Ritz. She wasn't a fan of the Ritz, mainly because they seemed more like an afterthought. The sprinkle them on after the the Mac and Cheese. If they crushed them up better and baked them on top- now that would be amazing.

Bryce had a salad. It looked nice, and I actually forgot to ask her how it was.

Our waiter reminded me of a hipster Joey from Friends. He always had a half smirk on his face and I could never really tell if he was listening to us. I wouldn't ask him to define any big words. But he was cute so we really didn't care what he did. As long as he kept making dreamy eye contact and rocked his tight plaid shirt.

We were pleasantly tipsy as we left, full bellies, and all girled out. The 50's style decor made me want to go home and do my best Betty Paige impression for Ted.

Instead I smooched him and fell asleep with my pants on.

Sage Advice

"Whoa, those are a lot of jalapenos babe, can you really eat all of those?"

It wasn't a challenge. It was a mere inquiry about my tolerance for spicy peppers.

I took it as a challenge.

I was late for work this morning.

Also, don't drink Guiness with chili.

Marital Bliss

As I've mentioned, I've had a lot of weddings this summer. Today marks number five.

Scott has been a tried and true friend for the last 8 years. Look how little we were.
Congrats to Scott and Rachel!

Love is awesome....

Because it's finally public I want to officially e-congratulate my best friend since 3rd grade, Ms. Susan Forshner and her amazing fiance Mike on their engagement.

I remember the phone call I got from Susie as she described their first date after seeing the Blair Witch Project way back in highschool. The funny thing is, Susie is so scared of horror/suspense movies that she literally flips around in her chair. I think that going to a scary movie with Susie would probably be the least romantic thing I can think of, no brushing of the thigh accidentally. If she did touch Mike, it would probably be a death grip.

Now to start the journey of losing weight so I can squeeze myself into a bridesmaid dress...

FNFO Retreat

I got home and I couldn't explain why I had laughed so hard.
I couldn't find the right words to describe how funny it was when Robert fell out of his chair, or when the ping pong ball landed in my cleavage. It doesn't come out right when I tell the story of pantsless Camillo at 1:00 in the morning.


Everyone swears they have the funniest most bestest friends ever times a million. I mean read blogs about it every day. I listen to people's stories, I look at their silly pictures online.

I just can't possibly imagine anyone being funnier than my friends.

It's impossible.

At the same time, I can't explain why they are so funny. I can tell you about Dana jumping in the water ass naked at 2:00 in the afternoon, but I might get a chuckle at most. I could try and explain why a drunk Marcello declaring Mia (of all people) his enemy makes me pee in pants, and you would probably fake laugh and shrug. I mean, Camillo said the word "Big Dicker." It's hilarious.

What I can do is make you understand that I care for those people greatly. I could call up any one of them for pretty much anything and get a hand. FNFO is without a doubt my family.

I have so many gray hairs.

But at least my boobs are still perky.

:::Confessions of a mid twenty-something:::